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"I'm fuckin' rich, So how can I bitch about someone downloading a song or two?"

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By Walter

Constant Reader-

Rumors of his death having been evidently misreported, Kid Rock issued a statement today actually IN FAVOR OF filesharing! I won't rehash much further, beyond his complaint with iTunes pilfering the pockets of hungry country-rock rappers through the distribution of singles and asinine lawsuits against preteens who have no possibility whatsoever of paying the restitution ordered. Idiocy. Instead, Constant Reader, I'd rather express my boundless irritation with Apple and iTunes in general.

How stupid does Apple think we are? They come at us with contradictory marketing campaigns: we must have an iPod to be included, but we're a worthless conformist if we don't own a Mac? And don't get me started on Volkswagen! Don't think they don't know what they're doing! Next time you see one of those fucktards driving around a VW, listening to his iPod, taking a call on his iPhone and blogging on his Mac, remind that pretentious, self-absorbed ass-pirate that Hitler started Volkswagen as a social program for the Third Reich and you want to know if they're deliberately supporting anti-semitic fascism, or just doing it for the fashion statement?

And whose fucking bright idea was it to start putting an uncapitalized "i" at the beginning of things to make it cool? IT IS NOT COOL, IT IS RETARDED. Constant Reader, I encourage you to avoid all things that start with "i", boycott vehicles with their heritage in Nazi Germany and firebomb all establishments that use the suffix "-ery" to make themselves "cool" (e.g. - The Eggery. Seriously. The Eggery? More like the fuck you ery.)

And what's wrong with the mp3 file format, Itunes? I'll tell you what's wrong: NOTHING. You can take your proprietary format and shove it up your ass. Go fuck yourself for trying to start a format war. See, here's the other retarded bit in your strategy, you fucktards: VHS kicked the crap out of Betamax only because EVERYONE was able to use VHS to record their shit! Now let me see...I've got me an mp3 encoder, a wma encoder, but where's my Itunes encoder? What? Only Apple can encode music in that format? Only Apple products can PLAY the retarded Apple formats? The day may come when people will wake up and say "hey. This VW is a Nazi car. And really, this Ipod isn't any better than any old mp3 player; it's just more pretentious and is making me pay a premium for 'status'. Fie on thee!"

Constant Reader, you ask: why, Walter, do you say "the day may come"? Isn't the day coming? Isn't it almost here? Well, Constant Reader, I have to reveal a horrible truth to you; most of the world is fickle mushheads. So, in short, bravo, Mr. Rock. Continue lacing your ravings with foul-mouthedness and perhaps those mushheads will one day realize the error of their ways.

walter is a contributing editor to "duck and cover". when he's not blogging for the website, look for him as a senior policy analyst at the american enterprise institute.
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