Skip to main content

"I'm fuckin' rich, So how can I bitch about someone downloading a song or two?"

Image
By Walter

Constant Reader-

Rumors of his death having been evidently misreported, Kid Rock issued a statement today actually IN FAVOR OF filesharing! I won't rehash much further, beyond his complaint with iTunes pilfering the pockets of hungry country-rock rappers through the distribution of singles and asinine lawsuits against preteens who have no possibility whatsoever of paying the restitution ordered. Idiocy. Instead, Constant Reader, I'd rather express my boundless irritation with Apple and iTunes in general.

How stupid does Apple think we are? They come at us with contradictory marketing campaigns: we must have an iPod to be included, but we're a worthless conformist if we don't own a Mac? And don't get me started on Volkswagen! Don't think they don't know what they're doing! Next time you see one of those fucktards driving around a VW, listening to his iPod, taking a call on his iPhone and blogging on his Mac, remind that pretentious, self-absorbed ass-pirate that Hitler started Volkswagen as a social program for the Third Reich and you want to know if they're deliberately supporting anti-semitic fascism, or just doing it for the fashion statement?

And whose fucking bright idea was it to start putting an uncapitalized "i" at the beginning of things to make it cool? IT IS NOT COOL, IT IS RETARDED. Constant Reader, I encourage you to avoid all things that start with "i", boycott vehicles with their heritage in Nazi Germany and firebomb all establishments that use the suffix "-ery" to make themselves "cool" (e.g. - The Eggery. Seriously. The Eggery? More like the fuck you ery.)

And what's wrong with the mp3 file format, Itunes? I'll tell you what's wrong: NOTHING. You can take your proprietary format and shove it up your ass. Go fuck yourself for trying to start a format war. See, here's the other retarded bit in your strategy, you fucktards: VHS kicked the crap out of Betamax only because EVERYONE was able to use VHS to record their shit! Now let me see...I've got me an mp3 encoder, a wma encoder, but where's my Itunes encoder? What? Only Apple can encode music in that format? Only Apple products can PLAY the retarded Apple formats? The day may come when people will wake up and say "hey. This VW is a Nazi car. And really, this Ipod isn't any better than any old mp3 player; it's just more pretentious and is making me pay a premium for 'status'. Fie on thee!"

Constant Reader, you ask: why, Walter, do you say "the day may come"? Isn't the day coming? Isn't it almost here? Well, Constant Reader, I have to reveal a horrible truth to you; most of the world is fickle mushheads. So, in short, bravo, Mr. Rock. Continue lacing your ravings with foul-mouthedness and perhaps those mushheads will one day realize the error of their ways.

walter is a contributing editor to "duck and cover". when he's not blogging for the website, look for him as a senior policy analyst at the american enterprise institute.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Okkervil River, Wellington, New Zealand :: Live Music Review

By
There are energetic drummers, and then there is Travis Nelson. Truly, he is 'Animal.' Okkervil River albums have so much personality, the songs themselves become characters: players, people in the guise of animals or gods (and who can tell the difference sometimes?). And like watching a melodrama, we are witness to emotions that heave and plummet with frightening force. The songs can be drunken youth: the rotund boots on their feet knocking wildly on every surface. Or they can be villainous and smart, full of smiles and wishing-you-well up to the second they thrust the dagger into your belly. Pitched, lust-crazed, calculated: that is one half of an Okkervil album. The other emotion is equally intense in its thick, slow agony: the eternity it takes to remove the knife, knowing you have it all to do over. And so it goes: soaring, drunk, angry, knife, stab, agony, pull-it-out-and-let's-do-it-again. At the San Fransisco Bathhouse in Wellington, New Zealand, on a crisp early a
2 comments
Read more

Daft Punk :: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

By
Somehow winter still has her claws in the Pacific Northwest. It's almost May, and we're forecast snow this coming weekend. Snow! (I'll spare you my usual tirade about what physically impossible acts may be performed on this particular part of the country, my own little corner of hell.) In any event, we were teased by 80 degrees over the past weekend, only to be thrust back into the 50s and below (with rain!) immediately after. Needless to say, it has not been happy times. I am on day three of a nonstop Neko Case marathon, and, while it is indeed comforting, Neko tends to be a little, dare we say, dark ? Sometimes you just need to take pause and make your own sunshine, or perhaps be steered to some on YouTube , as is certainly the case here. (Even though I firmly believe that YouTube is leading to the complete downfall of Western Civilization, and exposing the ugly underbelly of the American experience, I can sometimes forgive it. Times like this.) Back story? Dunno. Two fre
4 comments
Read more

White Rabbits :: It's Frightening

By
Band :: White Rabbits Album :: It's Frightening Song :: They Done Wrong / We Done Wrong Sounds Like: The Midwest strikes back. RIYL: Spoon, The Walkmen, Tapes 'n Tapes A Few Words: White Rabbits (the band) is living in NYC, it's true. However, they are, by all accounts, from the Midwest. This is only a point worth mentioning because I am also from the Midwest, so we have a lot in common that way. Which is to say we have an inherent understanding of vast distances, wind, and non-existent public transport (unless you count Chicago). White Rabbits could also be that band you know you've heard of, but can't remember. For all their PR efforts it's amazing how easily they continue to slip under the proverbial radar (not sure if "radar" is an acronym when used in a cliche, but I'm guessing not). For example, they've been on NPR's "World Cafe" and on Letterman. Furthermore, they played Glastonbury in 2007 PLUS their new album, It'
2 comments
Read more