Skip to main content

Kings of Leon, How Do I Loathe Thee? Let Me Count the Ways

By

I hate personally have a problem with Kings of Leon. For the most part, it's not their fault. It's just the hideously annoying vocalist, Caleb. Musically the band is talented. I don't deny it. But the uninspiring, unoriginal, choke-inducing sound of Caleb singing almost makes me physically violent. Kings of Leon will be on tour soon, so here is a realistic list of things I would rather do than go to their show:

1. eat an entire jar of pickles
2. let a tarantula walk up my arm all the way to the shoulder
3. donate blood and watch (i hate watching)
4. go to a dinner party with all the people who irritate me (regardless of what you might think, it would be a small dinner party, but a very annoying one)
5. wear the same pair of shoes every day for a month
6. type using only my left hand for an entire day
7. go to church
8. watch infomercials
9. do the dishes
10. read Family Circus comics

You see? Totally realistic. Notice nothing extreme like "make out with your grandfather" or "drink turpentine." That's because I'm actually imagining someone saying, "Jamie, you have to go to the Kings of Leon show. The only way you can get out of it is to . . ." So if someone said ". . .drink turpentine" of course I'd say no. I don't want to sound like Caleb for the rest of my life.
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm not trying to offend you here - but I've done all of the things you've listed that you'd rather do than watch Kings of Leon live in concert. And then I saw Kings of Leon live in concert. They were actually pretty good, I wasn't a huge fan of them then. Just saying.
20 April, 2009
Anonymous said…
Sorry, that wasn't very funny or clever. Try harder?
28 April, 2009
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May Day Is Lei Day

By
For the past 31 years in Honolulu, the Brothers Cazimero have hosted an annual May Day variety show at the Waikiki Shell Ampitheatre (because May Day is Lei Day!). When living there, I had the privilege of attending twice, the last time being the 30th anniversary, and just after the sad passing of the legendary Don Ho. Both times were, at the risk of allowing my cynical mask slip, magical. The May Day show is great fun, and follows the format of an old time variety show -- there is an aura of glamour interspersed with a decidedly camp sensibility, with hula stars of past and present gracing the stage. Spirits are high, and the banter among the performers is priceless; at times it feels as though you've wandered into a family reunion, and are a long lost cousin -- instantly at home and enveloped in the warmth. It's a time to celebrate the spirit and culture that truly do make the islands such a special place. There's a song that plays before the Sunset On The Beach movies...
Post a Comment
Read more

Contest! Design the Official Decemberists Show Poster

By
On March 18th, The Decemberists will give the debut live performance of their epic new song cycle The Hazards of Love when they headline NPR Music's SXSW showcase at Stubb's in Austin. To mark the occassion, Capitol Records (who will release the album on March 24) and Imeem are inviting fans to design the official poster for the showcase with a contest -- the winning design will be hand-picked by the band and contestants can enter on the Decemberists' Imeem page . The Decemberists will play The Hazards of Love, in sequence, in its entirety. Joining all five members of the band on stage will be Lavender Diamond’s Becky Stark and My Brightest Diamond’s Shara Worden, who lend leading vocals to the album. Opening bands are North Carolina trio The Avett Brothers, set to debut songs from its forthcoming album produced by Rick Rubin, and bluesy rockers Heartless Bastards, riding the success of its third record, The Mountain. The concert will begin at 10pm CST and will be str...
1 comment
Read more

Odd Stories in the World of Music

By
As it's Friday, we like to round up a few of the stranger music-related stories and share them with our beloved readers. First, there was the TechDirt article about bands (or the labels who represent the bands) who pull their songs from iTunes after said songs have become popular. Apparently, they think it will force people to buy more CDs, which is kind of like selling tires, then shutting all the stores and telling people they have to buy cars to get the tires they want. TechDirt reacts with the appropriate "WTF". Moving on, we find a lovely post about the "peculiar pocket trumpet" from Trumpet Instruments. Finally, there's this: a homemade hurdy gurdy built from circut hacked Furbies, appropriately named the "furby gurdy."
2 comments
Read more